freestyle

i didn't mean the last deleted entry to sound angsty or harsh, this week was just a week for holding onto something, anything that would help me think i'm not actually drifting away. you know that picture, the one of two people's backs, and they're side-by-side, and one person's
resting her head on the other one's shoulder, and neither is saying a word to the other?

yeah, that was all i wanted this week. that was all i really meant.

so yes im back from my camping trip at moreton island! 3days2nights

bitten by sandflies, mozzies and what u've got when u go on a camping trip

worse of all, SUNBURNT! worse one i've got in history ! whole back is red and burning and i seriously dont wanna wear my bra cos its so pain

luckily mingyan was at home to apply lotion for me

there wasnt much to do except to swim and chill out and i guess it was very much enjoyable with the company we've got

YAY

as much as i appear to be calm, im actually going for a camping trip amidst the storm

and my mum thinks the storm has ended but NO, it hasnt

i am scared, i really am but i guess i'll trust the guys im going with!

so it was steve irwin day yesterday and a couple of us decided to check the australian zoo out!

it wasnt at all fantastic, neither was it even on par with the avg zoos but i guess it was just a day out with a couple of friends to chill

i particularly liked the picture whereby simon held the ears of the kangaroo and when i tried to! it flinched and i got scared so i didnt dare to take any picture with it anymore!

ERP

my mum sent me this really hilarious and lame email with this picture attached, HAHA its damn funny! the next big thing that is gonna happen in singapore

boo

its really depressing to know that i am really careless in the things i do in lab, or maybe in life in general

i can double, triple check my experiments procedures and yet still make mistakes even though b4 i do each step, i clearly check what i'm gonna put in, the conc of the reagents blah blah AND i still can make mistakes, simple ones like there were 6wells to fill and i actually missed 1 of them , EVEN THOUGH i actually counted each well as i fill them up? it sucks , totally.

check pls

I felt that somewhere along the way, I lost sight of what is important. Or rather, there is so many things important to me that I fail to dedicate enough time to all of them, choosing to place them in priority ladders, and in other times, sadden myself with useless conjunctures that are conjured up of fear and cowardice. I seek to find happiness, but it is important that I do not lose more happiness in the process of doing so.

I yearn to swim. Cool my head, if it's still there above my shoulders where I last checked.

I must continue reminding myself: Big things are built on small things, and small things from nothing. If I persevere something good will come out of it.

dearest you

to a friend whom i've not talked to for a long time

to someone i miss laughing with

to you whom i really wished we had hung out more,

one who i've dearly missed

enjoy yourself on this blessed day

happy birthday

ahh

im awfully dead tireddddddd

woke up early for mingyan's presentation =) and then rushed to lab and after which came down again for some more thesis seminars

and now the most excitin part of the day since i havent had anything the entire day

DINNER! =) family dinner at westend , im gonna bring them to this awesome vietnamese restaurant which is cheap and gooooood

being old

And so I write. My mind's been racing alot faster these days. I've been piling backlogs of agenda in my mind. I'm thinking about a few things simultaneously and it's making me anxious. It feels like I'm on overdose of caffeine, just that I never had too much coffee and I actually feel sleepy in the lab. The headache now doesn't really help either.

There's just this personal understanding that I need to make my mind slow down. There are endless possibilities, but I only have one mind, two hands and limited waking time. Crawl before you walk. Walk before you run. Or me, in this case.

Amidst all the emo-ness that's been going on, I feel strangely optimistic. It is somehow as if I can feel my form again. A growing understanding of what it means to be me and what it means to overcome myself. My emotions are strangely stable, even though I am susceptible to sometimes feel tinge of sadness, or envy, or jealousy for no particular logical reason. But there's some sort of insulation that's starting to work. There's still no idea of what sort of future I should pursue, but at least I'm content for now. When there is a need to move in any direction, I'm quite confident that I can sense it.

Maybe that's what they mean by coming to age.

kenna cheated

i went to get a mouse at toowong since mine spoilt $39 then i went online to check it was frigging $22!!!!!!! cheat my money

Fee fi fo fum. Fee fi fo fum.

I imagine myself, in the feet of giants, and all I see is my inadequateness to fill the shoes.

Move forward, move forward. Fee fi fo fum. Fee fi fo fum.

i really have to thank some people who actually amidst their busy-ness , try to find out how i am and all , really appreciate that

at least u realise who the nice ones out there are, maybe its time to realise that it isnt that difficult to say hello, how are you in a simple conversation

its always the ones u wish would ask end up not asking

sincerity, its actually that simple.