i love you, pa

i went to collect the dress i tailored and i was ultimately shocked, depressed, stunned angry or whatever vocab that u can think of, it is that.

i was greatly disappointed and i cried in the car, not becos i was upset abt the turn out but becos i was angry at how it turned out and i cried even more when papa said that he'll pay for another dress and asked me to go look for one later at marina sq earlier on.. i was extremely touched and so i teared..

its my father's birthday today and i must say throughout of my almost 20 years of life , i've never done much for my parents and most of the time, they've been the ones who protected my brother and i, gave us a perfect wonderful family to be in, it has always been God's blessing that i can be part of this Fong family =) and today's event proved it further how such a wonderful blessing it is

since i was young, pa would send and pick me up from school.. sending me for organ lessons which i gave up after a year although he spent thousands on a organ for me, and now that organ is collecting dust in the family corner at home.. i guess i've never truly appreciated everything that my parents did for me .. whenever i go out with my friends on weekends, he would give me extra money just to let me enjoy myself, every week i spend so much on clothes and accessories and everything, my parents would pay without grumbling just because they wanna provide me with the best stuff only.. i guess its becos when they were younger and of cos much poorer they know they cant afford wad they want and now they wanna give their best to us children and i being born in a all right to do family wouldnt understand how is it like to be unable to afford things we want

it took me 19 years and 8 months to realised how much love my parents had for me and yes right now i truly understand everything and anything they have done just to love,care and protect me..

and my brother of cos, although we bicker and fight and argue, i know he loves me too, showing me concern and care when i need it putting your hand over my shoulders when i cry , these little gestures show me how much u care for me as a brother and i deeply appreciate everything

i love you pa, mummy and korkor and i never wished for anything else except you guys to be happy and healthy

on another note ,i 've got my friends around too, sam sue , pi and others whom i've not mentioned , whenever i need help/listening ear , u're theree for meee =)

of cos there's other ones who pretend to show their concern and promises and stuff but its until now that i realised that all those are fake and lies and were never meant to be true at all

these taught me alot and thank you for letting me know wad kinda person u are..

to sam, sue , pi and my other unmentioned friends, i love you all very much too =)

CNY!

ok i wanted a time out but i cudnt resist putting up the pictures of my family gathering! =) so

=)) pictures up!

reunion! ( 25th Feb 07)

auntie chewping

2 lingli ( bro's gf)

3 auntie chew hwa

4

5 brotherr

6

leaving

ok guys,

im gonna disappear from the face of this blogging world for a period of time , im tired and i need time to sort alot of things out, im sorry evon i cant update u or anyone of u overseas ! =) i'll be back real sooon i promise! i just need some time out

with love,
joo

dreamgirls

i caught dreamgirls today =) its sorta like a musical movie where everything is sung, i think jennifer hudson's voice is powerful but alittle too overboard! beyonce looked like an auntie in the beginnging and i was trying so hard to figure out which was her! but i must say she's good =)

had lunch at ding tai feng =) my noodles and xiao long baos keke! and i went to chinaatown to make my evening dress! reasonably cost and quite a steal i must say ! =) anyhows, im uber bored now and i really wish anyone , someone just aask me out for a drink NOW! haha!

evoonnn

i was msn-ing with dear evon just now and she told me she dislikes my lecturer cos he said i wudnt be able to get into ntu with them, its sweet gestures like that which warms my heart , knowing someone 1209893287492843029430 miles away cares =)

but it got me into a depressing mode afterward cos it led me into thinking what do i wanna do in future, as in what if i cant get in and all ? and things like that put me in a very hard spot cos i like to think alittle too much as u guys know, the kiasu joanna , or the scardy cat and all but yeahs i think alittle tad too much at times

altho it got me into alittle state of depression , it warms my heart still whenever she shows such care even tho she's in some deep shit of braces herself! =) haha and then starts drawing wacky pictures and claiming that they are mojo jojo =)

now u guys know wad kinda grade did evon get for art last time , i guess never an A lol!! hehehe

never fails to cheer me up and put a smile across my face ! keke

and so, its friends that care who touch me deeply in that little spot of my heart , never mentioned but yeah u have an impact =) well at least u guys cared! and im happy enough having u all around!

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shitass

badminton was good until some f-king asshole shouted into my face for no reason and i got ultra pissed off .

went dress shopping with mummy and concluded that i should tailor something i like cos i cant find any that i like at all =)

watching dreamgirls tommorrow and i hope its a nice film but its like 130mins! freaking longgg lala

how do u hang on to something when there was never a beginning ? pls tell me.

grrr

grrr!everytime i request for something, i always dont get any replies.

enough is enough.

----------------------------------------------------

99.9% graduated! =)

okays! everything's well over for now except for results day! =) presentation went okayy today except for some shooting of really general questions but my partner and i got alittle stunned . haha! anyhows, ghost rider after presentation wasnt as nice as expected, kinda corny but think it was okay la but my friend fell asleep twice! so u guys can infer from that if it was really good or not ok =)

3 lecturers wrote an appraisal form for me to ntu, one is my project sup in a star who only wrote superb comments which in turn can turn out quite fake, another is just a lecturer whom im unknown to but he offered to write for anyone who asked so being joanna , i asked him with my very thick skin but he actually told me that my gpa was toooooooooooo low to get into ntu and advised me to work first and then go overseas to study or go straight, but the point is that i have absolutely no idea, dropping that bombshell on me wasnt that upsetting , cos i knew myself that i cant get in unless its really really God's will or im really plain lucky that they actually want me but all i hope is for nie to grant me a damn interview so i can carry on with my "ambition"

okays all's not lost but i guess its time for a wake up call and stuff! badminton tml =) totallly looking forward to it

Protégé

i watched Protégé today with dan dan just now =) it was an okayy movie ! ghost rider tommorrow with my classmates after our presentation in school! =)) then we're 99% graduated cos we still have to wait for results which will be out on 14march and then if we passed everything we'll be 100% a diploma holder then! =) antipating that moment but at the same time afraid i would fail

classmates came over to practise presentation today and have a little gathering lunch wheere mummy cooked good food =) yay! anyhows, instead of practising presentation very formally we were actually blasting the music and just roughly timing them! haha all in all, not exactly a productive day but everything's good and everyone's happy and thats all it matters..

ahhh big day tommorrow.. scared =((

ministry of sound

and yeahs , today i experienced the first time of clubbing..

met sam and pihui at mos and got in quite fast, stayed for an hr and thats it.. i guess iwasnt used to the smoke and all and i really felt unfomfy and scared but i guess it was all right to me but i would prefer not to

i don't like ppl who disappear and make me wait for no reason.

---------------------------------------------

off to jb i went!

as another family tradition ,i went to visit my granduncle in malaysia =) and we had another reunion lunch! keke

it was good, company was great food was good everything was just perfect except for the malaysian side jams! =(

i wannna watch norbit and ghost rider ! =( who wanna go with meeeee ? keke

im so bored at home right now that if anyone asks me out , i'll definitely turn up! =)

dinner timee!

happy chinese new year! =)

well well , the first time ever that cny falls on a sunday and there's church as usual but earlier b4 going to auntie'se hse to have the second reunion lunch, its a tradition every year and each time she would make hakka abacus seed =) the best in the whole wide world! lingered on awhile b4 we went to catch the film just follow law =) i think it was a pretty hilarious show and im always in awe how jack neo can always capture the public's hearts by portraying the truth and reality of singaporean's way of life.

went on to my father's brother's hse which is my big uncle, not close at all so it was just a form of respect like i said in my earlier entry =) all the way in punggol , my butt was nearly pronouced skin dead cos the journey was so loongg!

malaysia for the day tml since my granduncle's living there and we definitely have to go =( and i don't like going there cos its uber boring!

another note altogether, i always wonder how people can make promises and either not keep it or absolutely forgotten abt it, and thats becos it wasnt impt to them at all or else why would they forget? how they can just appear in ur lives and suddenly disappear without any reason/ sound and then come back for one second and then leave to go on with their own lives once again.. you question abt their disappearance but it was of no use and no point either.

its just like i was non-exsistent in the beginning or either i wasnt of much significance in their lives, so thank you for coming and and stepping out of it as if it was some door way that's free but it isnt at all.

that was random but i guess its a fact of life and that in reality we really don't mean anything to anyone at all..

i 'heart' holidays but i need to find a job soon to sustain myself!

dear schools that i emailed , why arent u callin me up at all ? im waiting! =))

the bak kwa's calling me, enjoy the holidays =)

ello!

MR BRIAN WANG CHONG YU, MY NAME IS JOANNA FONG MAY TSE! NOT MEI TSE!!!

=(( Its the ten thousandth time u got it wrong

bahh

ok sorry guys no pictures cos i was too busy eating that i forgot to take =) haha oopsie

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what does the new year bring about ?

chinese new year is approaching but i guess for a few years now after we've all grown up,chinese new year wasnt just to collect ang baos and stuff but its how family gatherings have become more meaningful and important

but i often ask, why do we bother smiling to someone whom we probably meet like only once a year and act so fake and stuff and so happy seeing them, in fact in the past when my paternal grandma was still alive, i didnt look forward to going to her place every 1st day of cny.. i dread seeing those unfamiliar faces of uncles,aunties,cousins and distant relatives and how all of them would start boasting abt their children's acheivement and how they are such big figures in the cooperate world.. now that she's passed on , there's no need to go to my big uncle's hse but as a form of respect we will .. i prefer seeing my mum's side more i guess since did grow up interacting with my cousins more, having swimming lessons weekly and church but the same cycle repeats, we grow up, we become distant to each other we don't even talk as some go astray and there's not a common topic anymore

yeahs such a solemn entry b4 cny! haha okok look forward to happier things

im meeting sue for her last min shopping b4 coming home for reunion with my 2nd uncle of my mum's side, and we're gonna have boilboat which is steamboat but taukwa alwyas calls it boilboat! haha! ok so yeah i prolly will upload pictures ltr =) enjoy the cny eve ppl!

yippie!

ok! problem solved! =))

anyhows i managed to get my hp finallly woohooO! im a happy girl!

chinese new year = ang baos = $$ = i don't need to find a job so soon! hahaha ok =))

i've been eating too much lately, from thai express to new york new york and to pasta and to lotsa stuff so at the end of the day , im growing fatter =) keke

help me pls!

pls! help me! my keyboard's bonkers i dunno wad i pressed =((

now when i press shift 2 its not @ that comes out its " that comes out and when i press shift " its @ that comes out! its dom ba lek and i dunno how to change it back!

BOOHOOO

it wasnt meant to be

all was lost when my hopes of going bowling and shopping were dashed ! presentation in the morning was dreadful, i waited 1 1/2 hrs for my supervisor and presented our ppt and then he asked us to make some changes ok not some but almost like re-doing the whole damn thing and we stayed in school till 4 odd

i am dead tired , when u see me u'd think i've not slept in ages cos my eyes really look like they are gonna shut and not open anymore anytime soon ! just like someone going in a comatose state, ok that was nonsense

woahh so when brian called from the states , i thought why was he so nice spend so much $$ but to my disappointment , he only paid like as if he used his home phone in singapore to call me! got such thing meh ? try harder if u wanna surprise me ok =) lol i wish u luck freezing ur butt off in america , kekeke!

ok so i hope i can hav some fun tml on valentine's =) bowling and then badminton, hardcore exercising ok! go jojo go! =)

evon, are u dead ? haha!

okayys

shitty !

ok alas! my exams are finally over!! but it wasnt a happy ending because the paper was a frickking KILLLLLLLERRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! it was tough and every one was complaining! i hope its a good respond cos there wud be moderation! =) but yeah eveyrone didnt have that happy ending feeling

afterwhich was thai express at holland v and coffee at ya kunny =) keke! back home now and im supposed to be napping but im not at all tired! =) i've got activities planned out for the next 3 days and most of them consists of eating haha! everyone was so surprised that all of it requires eatingg!

tues morning presentation then bowling then shopping
wed bowling in the afternoon then badminton in the evening then dinner!
thues lunch and shopping

this is just the start of my holidays

i hope i can get a job soon ! no income = no $$ = no more thai expresses = no more eating? kill me! haha wooohoo!

Such is life, that we move on in phases, closing one door only to open another

flowers anyone ?

my brother and i walked passed that florist in taka and he was considering whether to order from that store , as we discussed i realised that mini sunflowers were extremely cute and cheery and gerberras were extremely pretty too! of cos there was lillies as well but why do most ppl buy roses anyways ?

i think roses are pretty ugly i don't know why but i would rather have gerberras, lillies or sunflowers than roses! like if everyone gets roses on that particular day then it would be so boring ? i dunno ! haha okayys anyways i felt kinda bad cos i wonder if im pms-ing or wad but i lost my temper towards this church pal of mine today , or rather i couldnt stand the way he was talking and i just asked him to shut up , didnt really bother about anything either

im ultra broke cos we kept eating good food this weekend =( and i didnt ask my dad for moneyyyy boohooo =(( maybe i should drag the atm machine whereever i go =)

back to my books last paper tomorrow and this calls for a celebration!

pomodora sauce

its been 1030290943387294879 years since i last met sue =) and i finally had a chance to book her in advance keke

shopping for her beloved was excruciating , navy blue don't like aiyo which guy wudnt like navy blue huh! huh huh! 2 pairs of earrings and a necklace into my pockets amidst that shopping trip and also my formal top for presentation =(( waste $$

tried out pizza walker at wisma , i guess its not bad at all if my prawn pasta wasnt that spicy , i didnt think pomodora sauce would be spicy i just thought it was tomato-ish but i was proven wrong , and i had to de-shell the prawns which took me zillion years to do so n on top of that we shared a pizza and after which concluded that we over ordered haha!

dark chocolate gelato ended our feast =)

have fun on the 12th sue and i hope he doesnt gget too dumb! keke!

grrr!!

its so sad and depressing when all you wanna get is an hour worth of nap because u slept at 3am the night b4 and u get awoken by a call asking u if you took the church quiz last night, im uber pissed cos the phone was in slient mode and yet the woman was so persistent with the call that the fricking loud vibrations woke me up

its even sadder and more depressing when u went shopping with a friend and u couldnt get anything at all from all the shops u frequent! and yes not exactly the case cos i was almost gonna pay for something when out of the blue i told myself that i think i didnt need it , put it back to where it belonged and hoped that a nice girl like me would buy it later and walked out of the shop =)) im so proud of myself

i love you joanna fong may tse

this is the doings of insomia well not really i guess its just lack of sleep

sam! i still "heart" this bag alot from topshop! =(( and i want that navy blue one boohooohoo or the brown would be nice

the badminton skills unravel!

ok lets see what i've gotta say, firstly the drug paper went pretty well =) easier than what i thought it would be but nevertheless i couldnt answer some questions cos i forgot keke!

after that was off to town for alittle shopping and scouting of formal clothings, set my eyes on one and im gonna bring my mummy there on saturday =)) my atm keke *beams*

lucky zhenming drove his van and since he lives a street away , i could always get a ride from him!and i got home fast and quickly changed and set of for clementi cc for baddie min ton! =))

one guy pangseh-ed us so left gary and me , and stupid gary always say im super lazy to run for the shuttle but it was too far wad and the game left me really tired and i had to treat him cos i lost to him =( boohooo! since its gonna be valentines day + my classmates and i have no dates =( we've decided to play badminton to cure our lonely souls

fyp ppt time!

suuueee , 12 th is coming soon! keke are u excited!

keke

the days are weary and the nights are dreary..

everynight i toss and turn in bed until 2 am before i finally drift off to sleep and during that tossing period there's loads of things weighing in my mind from uni applications to nie teaching to studying right now and presentations right then! like everything's so packed up that i cant take a breather at all..

everything's just starting to lose their meaning.. why should i be studying? why should i do this why should i do that ?

why?

darn it

the paper didnt go exactly tooo well i must say cos it was dumb and no one could have ever answered them all correctly unless u memorised 7chapters of notes and every line without fail WORD FOR WORD.

i was free so i popped by ikea to get lunch and that damn angmoh had to piss me off =(

boooohooohooo

nap time =)

the night is still young

so the exams start proper tomorrow =( and the cycle repeats itself on alternate days till next monday boohooohoo

i wish i was a 5yearold kid running around with my friends and playing catching when all the cares of the world isnt there for me to bear at all =) that i would call bliss.

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woohoooooooooo

it was good seeing some old friends , it was good to see the ones u can talk to but the ones u cant really talk to or dunno that well , it was awkward! like how one was with the bf and then afterwhich she said she's going to the back cabin of the mrt?! like huh!?haha cannot stay and talk ah but thank God she requested that she wanted to move to the back =) keke or i wudnt know wad to say!

can u believe it that i've a project due on sunday! which is today and on monday and my exams start on monday proper.

Monday-Current good manufacturing practises
Wednesday- Drug Discovery Development
Friday- Integrated Laboratory 1
Monday(12th)- Genomics

oh pls ppl wish me luck pretty pls

haha!

ok presentation sucked. the judges just kept shooting from beginning to the end! dont even let me explain finish first. pictures up!