Every day of our lives, we engage in self-discovery; we learn things about ourselves. For me, I have witnessed my increasing need for closure. I find it very difficult to live in uncertainty and ambiguity - I am essentially the problem solver. I will exhaust every means possible just to eliminate ambiguity. By closure, I do not only mean an outcome or an ending. Closure to me also means understanding the processes in between, getting a sense of all the thought trajectories and thereby understanding the cognitive activities behind explicit behavior. I am someone concerned with the implicit and the explicit; I am someone who dwells on a matter for long periods of time until I find an answer; I am what many call a stubborn person. When presented with a problem, my automatic processing always causes me to make external attributions and accompanying it, comes all sorts of negative affect. But because of my motivation to work around the problem, a lot of controlled processing subsequently comes into play. Eventually, I always end up with self-blame. I don't think I am someone with low self-esteem, neither am I a pessimistic person. It is interesting to know that I always point fingers at myself, and demand that I change. Change is not easy. The loss of self-worth and guilt brings about internal conflict and high amount of stress. Change is not easy and because it usually cannot be achieved in a short period of time, stress builds up. Stress, to many is just but a psychological state of mind or even a variable subject to threshold. Chronically, stress can bring about physiological reactions (that are more frightening than the psychological problem). I guess, the darkest of it all is the interaction of both in a vicious cycle. I hope I don't find myself in this abyss of darkness ever.