lost

a friend sent me his/her proposal outta good will to let me have a look at how it was written

and all i can really say is, i've fallen far short of what he/she had written ! my first draft that was given to my supervisor just 2 days ago should be consider a piece of junk or should i say really crappy work

greg asked me how's my project going along and all i could answer him was a simple 3 word answer " I DON'T KNOW" which he then proceeded to asking if i'm lost , the first answer that came to my mind was a definite YES but i cant' do anything about it now since its the beginning and i'm still trying my best to understand every single bit of my project in the best of knowlegde that i have from all my years of studying ( hopefully it was useful )

you know how difficult it is when people ask you to put your trust in God, and do your part while He takes care of the rest? i totally understand their point and where they are coming from but at times when the going gets tough, its not hard to wonder what's gonna happen nxt and how not to worry about anything

those who know me well enough will know that i worry and panick at the slighest and smallest issue ever available

so how can i not to at this moment when it concerns my future and a big part of my career in future

Hmph, sometimes I feel like lashing out at everything around me, displaying what I really think, and feel, and then I am reminded. That I'm just so human, so flawed, and that if I let myself sink so low, I'm no better than someone being destructive

Time to be brave, time to endure. Time to be patient, time to control. Time to pray.

Why now, the day before tomorrow, when I should be focused, composed, why am I not? Sigh.